“Arrabelle’s Shadows” by Fleur Gaskin

Publication Date: November 19, 2012

Arrabelle is a young model from New Zealand living in Thailand and at war with her “shadows.” Her life may look glamorous from the outside but inside she’s falling apart.

The author, who is self-published, provided me with a copy of this book for review.

Arabelle’s Shadows is written in the style of diary and brings us to the heart of an insecure young model. She fights failure, depression and the sense of really truly wanting someone to approve of and love her. Her relationship with her father is summed up in a dinner when she returns to New Zealand. He tells her he’s proud of her and her heart swells until she realizes that he’s drunk. Suddenly her relationships within the novel are put into perspective. This is a woman who needs a hug from someone who means that hug just for her.

Arrabelle’s story isn’t chronologically written but the switches between years are segregated by chapter so easy to follow. Each line follows a personal disappointment. A time when Arrabelle feels she’s failed and the “shadows” creep in. Based on Gaskin’s own life, the story does have a very personal feel. You are reading the often harsh and sometimes destructive life of a model first hand. The sort of life that America’s Next Top Model hints at but struggles to convey with bubbly and adoring Tyra at the helm. A model must not be too curvy, they must be interesting. Arrabelle, who is more of an editorial model and can’t pull off the big money commercial jobs, is given diet pills by a photographer when she’s deemed too fat. Arrabelle is very candid about her recreational drug use and sexual encounters though not graphically or gratuitously. Modeling, it appears, is all about constantly working on ones shape and image and nothing is up to par. The life is devastating for someone who wants something as simple as just being good enough.

Arrabelle’s story is in the spirit of such classics as “Bright Lights, Big City.” It’s well written and well told from an insider’s view looking back. There’s a feeling of other-worldliness in setting which is very well described. Arrabelle is growing up before our eyes and we can’t help but cheer for her.

I would be remise if I didn’t mention the very cool cover on this novel. In the case of Gaskin’s raw tale, the cover is a perfect reflection of what readers will find inside.

If you like coming of age stories, human struggle stories and generally raw looks into a field where most people have a short shelf life, I think you’d have a hard time finding a better example than Arabelle’s Shadows.

To learn more about the author, visit her website at http://www.fightingtheshadows.com

“Cowboys, Armageddon, and The Truth: How a Gay Child was Saved From Religion” by Scott Terry

Publication Date: October 6, 2012

I was given an ARC copy of this memoir to review by the author. Content may have changed prior to publication.

Cowboys, Armageddon, and The Truth: How a Gay Child was Saved From Religion by Scott Terry describes growing up in the 70’s in a home ruled by a tyrannical step-parent and a restrictive religion. Readers follow Terry to adulthood and through his personal struggle with his beliefs and sexuality.

Scott Terry has an elegantly understated way of writing. He and his older sister grew up on the edge without a sense of home. Everything belonged to their stepmother. The house was “Fluffy’s house” and they were only allowed in it by permission. Food was “Fluffy’s food.” In a scene later in the memoir Terry is 14 and on a family trip when he tries Fluffy by taking a Dorito from a bag that his step-siblings are sharing. Fluffy yells at him and he runs off crying. How isolated he was, especially after his sister left, is highlighted. Terry and his sister were unwelcome visitors in the home of their father’s wife. The abuse Terry suffered was poignant in that he doesn’t outline the attacks for us in graphic detail but hints at them. He remembers Sissy screaming and the next day he had bruises on his body and a cut on his head. His experiences resonate with the reader and cause the heart to bleed for these children to whom society and their father seemed to turn a blind eye.

I would think that readers would identify with Terry’s struggles with sexuality and coming to accept himself as an adult. He prays daily for Jehovah to remove the “wicked” feelings, he has girlfriends and misleads team-mates and ultimately he comes to the realization that happiness is being himself and there are people in his life who accept him and those who don’t don’t matter. Terry chronicles his journey to finding acceptance and discovering that there are others out there who are like him with beautiful simplicity. From first feelings to the thrill of watching a gym teacher undress unseen from a corner of the room to first sexual encounter to coming out to family members some of whom accept him and some of whom don’t, Terry doesn’t sugarcoat his mixed feelings and his need to have those connections.

No one could blame Terry if he was bitter and used a memoir as a vindictive rant against and an abusive stepmother and a father willing to turn a blind eye. He was locked out of his home for hours in Wyoming in winter, he was forced to go hungry, accused of stealing and beaten. Bitterness is not the focus. Terry gives a relatable and compelling story of struggle, escape and ultimate success. He is a survivor and this is his story.

What surprised me most about this novel was how similar Jehovah’s witnesses seem to be to the Pentecostal religion in which I grew up. “The World” is everyone who doesn’t subscribe to the religion and there must be no association. Terry attended public schools whereas the church in which I grew up had their own school. College wasn’t encouraged and in a lot of cases was flatly discouraged. If you must go to college, you go to Bible school so that you can contribute to your religion (as the Witness’ religion encouraged people to go to trade schools to rebuild after Armageddon). The anticipation of the world ending at any moment and how we must defend against outsiders because their only goal is to corrupt us.

I am also struck, reading Terry’s story, with the feeling of a lucky childhood. Like Fluffy, if my mother found a dish dirty, I would wash every dish we owned. We used powdered milk and watched Wild Kingdom followed by the Wonderful World of Disney. What I had that was missing in Fluffy was general affection. My mother may not have said it but I knew she loved me. Terry did not have that comfort.

Readers will find themselves not wanting to stop reading. There is a need to know that Terry is okay and how his life turned out. His memories are warm sometimes and painful at other times and the reader is on the journey with him and happy that he is living his life as he chooses today.

This was a brave book to write. Congratulations to Scott Terry on a wonderful life. Looking into the heart of this memoir there was a good kid who wanted to be loved and, I’m sure, is very much cherished today.

Scott Terry is an urban farmer and artist who writes for the Huffington Post’s Gay Voices page. Cowboys, Armageddon, and The Truth: How a Gay Child Was Saved From Religion. was named as one of the best LGBT books of 2012 by Out in Print and Band of Thebes. For more information about the author, following the links below.

Twitter: @scottterrywrites

Facebook: www.facebook.com/CowboysArmageddonAndTheTruth

Web: www.ScottTerryProjects.com

“Shadows, Skeletons and a Southern Belle” by Jilda Leigh

Publication Date: August 16, 2012

Jilda Leigh tells her own story of mental disorder and depression and encourages readers who feel like they can’t go on with a look into her depth of despair and the light she found at the end of the tunnel.

This author asked me a while back to review her book and sent a preview of what it was about. Reading through, I was hesitant. Would I be able to critique a book about such a deeply personal subject – one that I couldn’t fathom having never been there? I honestly told the author that I wasn’t sure I could comment on anything but my inability to identify with the subject matter. Dear Readers, I was wrong.

To start, this is a beautifully written but brutal story. The author’s trouble began as a young child abused by a stepfather and carry on to a rape, an abusive marriage, a few suicide attempts. One of the more offputting things about the narrative is that the last suicide attempt was in May of this year. It would seem more time would be needed to sort out problems but Leigh makes clear to us that writing this book to help others is part of her personal process.

Who among us can’t identify with “Skeleton Insecurity,” “Skeleton Fear,” and “Skeleton Water” (a feeling of drowning one’s life). This reader is not bipolar and does not suffer from depression but I identified with the concepts that Leigh set forth in her easy, stream of consciousness, writing style.

Leigh has obviously done a lot of work on herself. Half of the book is life story and the second half details how she intends to continue to go on with her life. I have never been bi-polar and really don’t know a lot about the disorder so can’t comment on the effectiveness of the busy work she recommends but can tell you, when combating what Leigh calls “Skeleton Insecurity,” making oneself useful to others would seem to be key in building self esteem. Leigh’s tips are outlined and bullet pointed for easy reference.

Leigh does cite comfort in religion. While I’m not a religious person despite growing up in the church and usually tend to scoff at the power of prayer, I have seen a number of people come into religion and turn destructive habits into something less damaging. Prayer seems to have worked for Leigh where all else has failed.

Whether you suffer from depression or you know someone who does, Jilda Leigh’s own story will move you.

“The Funky Butts: An Unauthorized Autobiography” by The Blade

Publication Date: July 15, 2012

The Funky Butts is the story of the rise and fall of a fictional band in the pre-grunge and early MTv era. The Blade tells the story of Marathon Man, Slinkmaster and MC Mike rising from the ashes of Denton, Texas to a National stage and then realizing that fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

The book description invokes Spinal Tap which is about a band on a comeback trail but I believe the novel is reminiscent of the Canadian film, Hard Core Logo. If you haven’t watched this movie, I would suggest picking it up. Infused with moments of humor, it’s basically the edgy and mean sprited story of the rise to fame of a punk band. The Denton boys of The Funky Butts are the middle ground. They’re a group of four who never wanted to be famous but knows when a deal is too good to pass and also the desperation one feels when you’ll do anything to get out.

I thought a lot about this book after closing the Kindle cover. If I were writing a fictional band and could write anything would I write such a tame story? Probably not. On reflection, this is maybe more a read for people who are smart about music. I recognized some names in the narrative – I googled others. There were images that anyone who lived through the age, when referenced, would immediately call to mind. The red handkerchief in Bruce Spingsteen’s back pocket on the cover of the “Born in the USA” album, for example. What person of our generation doesn’t see the reference and have the ability to picture the cover. When The Blade is talking about how the band wanted to be simple in their videos and referenced Van Halen’s “Jump,” I automatically knew what he was talking about despite this reader not being so smart when it comes to music.

The scenes are well written and well described. We get the feel of Denton and the crowd. We get to know Marathon Man, MC Mike and Slinkmaster through their own words and The Blade’s memories. The Blade is candid with the audience 20 years from their success into present day. One moment I simply did not believe was the 16 year old who accused MC Mike of raping her. The label runs a contest for teens and then leaves the artist alone with the child? Maybe I’m very wrong but I cannot see the artist having been left alone even then. Too much risk and we’re led to believe that we’re dealing with a very canny label representative.

Yes, that is nitpicking. Overall there’s nothing wrong with this book. Four boys that you want to see get ahead and a story of a band. While the reader is drawn into the tale, there’s also nothing overly sensational about it. This is a nice, comfortable, story involving characters to cheer for that I can see being about any band of the age.

So why, you may ask, is this an unauthorized autobiography when written by one of the fictional band members? I believe, and maybe I’m wrong, that it’s because this is a band that never wanted to be anything but what they became after they broke up. They’ve put the past firmly behind them and while Blade wants to kind of vent as the most invested member of the band, the others are more passive in their approach. It was and now it’s not, sort of attitude.

Overall, this was a nice visit with the bands of my childhood. There’s a concert at one point in the book that is a name dropping extravaganza but I was grooving to the favorite beats rolling through my brain. Not the most exciting thing I’ve read all year but worth checking out if you’re a devotee of the ZZ Top, Stevie Ray, Blues type music and bands of the era.

Speaking of favorite beats, Original Soundtrack for the Novel ‘Funky Butts: An Unauthorized Autobiography’ has been released by the author. With lyrics rather in the spirit of Moxy Fruvous and the Barenaked Ladies, you can check out the Funky Butts tracks as you read the novel.

Rabid Reader Ramble #1 – Richards Apologizes to Jagger.

Here’s the problem with being famous – if I say someone is a jerk, no one cares. Who am I? My opinion may interest me but not anyone else. If Keith Richards says that his bandmember is an uptight, controlling, prick, the world takes notice and every media outlet looks to throw a further wedges between them so that the every drop of interest can be wrung from the ashes of what was maybe a good thing or maybe not so that when the apology comes, it can be hard to find

Blazoned across the headlines of page 345 of our local paper (that may be an exaggeration) this weekend was the headline “Richards Apologizes to Fellow Rolling Stone, Jagger.” The apology was for comments that Richards made in his 2010 Memoir “Life” about Jagger. As a reader, I kind of saw Richards looking at Jagger as the “Man” in a sense. The person making all of the decisions and pulling all the puppet strings but, in reading, you wouldn’t want those strings in Keith Richard’s hands. Keith Richards at that time (and maybe still) was a hot mess. The sense was of rebellion against authority but when you’re the bad boy band that’s probably not the image Jagger wanted of himself out in the media no matter how true. According to the media, the band’s rift over those comments was of such seriousness that their 50th Anniversary Tour was in jeopardy. Or was it? It’s a good money making opportunity, would they have just gone on with it.

Richards’ is quoted in the article as saying, “As far as the book goes, it was my story and it was very raw, as I meant it to be, but I know that some parts of it and some of the publicity really offended Mick and I regret that.”(Read more: http://www.windsorstar.com/entertainment/Richards+apologizes+fellow+Rolling+Stone+Jagger/6313143/story.html#ixzz1pZfl3sXD). It was extremely raw and in my review I lauded him for that and I don’t believe here he’s saying that what he said wasn’t what he felt but that he’s sorry that it hurt Jagger’s feelings. When is an apology not an apology? When it’s an “I was just being honest.” LOL

At the end of the day, Jagger accepts the apology and life moves on for this band. The last sentence in the article cites a groundbreaking upcoming documentary about the group to be released in September. Will we see some of this rift play out? Let me know because I’m opting out of this one.

“Life” by Keith Richards and James Fox

Publication Date: October 26, 2010 (Kindle Edition)

Keith Richards was born in 1943 in Dartford, Kent. The only child of Bert and Doris. He is the guitar player in the band The Rolling Stones. He is notorious for his drug use and also for the claim that the strangest thing he ever snorted was his father’s ashes. This book is about his life, the Rolling Stones, his drug use and everything else he thinks to talk about. Spoiler alert, he comes out of “Life” alive.

Before reading this autobiography, all I knew about Keith Richards is that he is a member of the Rolling Stones and played Captain Jack Sparrow’s father.

I was prepared to come to this review and give my honest and unabashed view of this book and its subject. I thought he was a jackass and I hated how the book was written. He is very much a product of his time in the way he approaches certain subjects (stereotypes, race, etc…). It’s as though Richards sat down with a beer and rambled bouncing from subject to subject and every word was taken down exactly and put in print. For example, he starts telling the story of how his parents met 4 times in the first 10% of the book only to move on to something else and within that 10% was the line “And then I met Mick” and Mick isn’t brought up at all again until much later. He jumps from thought to thought and time period to time period and back again. It’s disconcerting and all the while he reads like a complete jerk.

I was going to talk about how much I disliked this book. Don’t get me wrong, I still do but in thinking about this review today and how I would present it, something struck me….this autobiography is very real. This is very likely exactly who Keith Richards is and he embraced this project. He didn’t try to whitewash his image; he jumped in, feet first and said to the reader, “This is who I truly am.” I think we get an insight into Richards that the average celeb simply wouldn’t want us to see. There are points that come off as fuzzy to the reader in Richards eyes….the 70’s for example, one has to wonder how much he actually remembers of that decade.

At the end of the day, I would think that of any chronicle of the life of the Rolling Stones, this may be as close to the truth as it gets. Richards hides nothing….and if he has, I would not want to read what he felt unsuitable for print. This autobiography is very aptly named because it is truly the “Life” of Keith Richards.

I’d only recommend this book if you are a Keith Richards or Rolling Stones fan or if you are doing research into the effect of acid flashbacks on the human brain.

Rabid Readers Reviews

Book Blogging Fun for the Person Who Loves to Read

Category Archives: Autobiography